Right now, you’re probably asking yourself two things:
Who am I?
And, what the hell are you doing here?
Let’s start with the most obvious question, shall we?
You’re here, ladies, because you can’t f*ck.
Oh, stop it. Don’t cringe. No one under the age of 80 clutches their pearls.
You might as well get used to it, because for the next six weeks, you’re going to hear that word a lot. And you’re going to say it a lot.
Go ahead, try it out on your tongue.
Ok, good. Now where were we?
If you enrolled yourself in this program then you are wholly aware that you’re a lousy lay. Good for you. Admitting it is half the battle.
For those of you that have been sent here by your husband or significant other, dry your tears and get over it. You’ve been given a gift, ladies. The gift of mind-blowing, wall-climbing, multiple-orgasm-inducing sex. You have the opportunity to f*ck like a porn star. And I guarantee, you will when I’m done with you.
And who am I?
Well, for the next six weeks, I will be your lover, your teacher, your best friend, and your worst enemy. Your every-f*cking-thing. I’m the one who is going to save your relationship and your sex life.
I am Justice Drake.
And I turn housewives into whores.
The synopsis was mind boggling hot…..like, it totally made me super excited to read it. It was bold and out there, and the concept of the story was REALLY neat. The cover was released after the blurb and I think I got a little excited. Hello!!?? Have YOU seen it?? C’mon….it was nothing short of panty melting HOT and SEXINESS combined. Sadly, I think that is where the awesomeness stopped for me. Was this a bad book? Absolutely NOT. But when you actually got into the read, it lacked that boldness that we got from the synopsis. It fell short of the lust I felt after the blurb and cover reveal. It felt flat to me….I don’t know exactly how to say it. It just didn’t get me happy…..but it didn’t totally turn me off. It was a very even read…..no huge lead up and not a huge let down in the plot. Just............even.
Justice Drake was a HOT man….and he used this to his advantage. He ran Oasis, a place for women to come to and learn the art of seduction and to learn how to be alluring and sexy, (come to find out it is all in an effort to get their husbands wandering eyes back on THEM). Not a bad concept…not at all. But, in all honesty……I’ll be honest, my husband cheats on me THAT much, and my ass is going to a spa (on his dime)…..not a resort on how to find my ‘sexiness’ and learn how to make him smile. Nope. Nuh uh.
We got to know Ally and her spitfire attitude, but also her fun loving and goofy self. I liked her….I really did. She had attitude and spunk, but some awkward innocence too. She was very quirky and I really liked that side of her. Some of it worked, some of it didn’t. There was an awesome scene in the book that totally had me laughing out loud…..she was dancing, well….at least she was trying to. OMG. I laughed good and hard!! He was laughing SO HARD at her dancing….and it really was a funny scene. She was fun to read and watch.
Luckily, the song has long ended and changed to something less unfortunate, or I probably would’ve hacked up my spleen.
As we learn about Justice and the fact that he was hiding from something (we were given this assumption throughout the book), we learn that he has an immediate soft spot for Ally. He tried to avoid the emotions he is feeling towards her and is really trying to fight it at every turn. He is falling harder and harder, and finds himself in some situations that he really shouldn’t be in with her, especially being that she is a married woman……even though he wants her REALLY BAD, he tries to reason with himself.
Sharing a beer or a bowl of ice cream is one thing, but breaking bread with the woman would be just asking for trouble. And I’m fairing just fine in that department on my own, fuck you very much.
We didn’t know what he was hiding from or who, but it was constantly being alluded to. However, at the end….when we found out, it was a bit of a head shaker. Anticlimactic, but I did shake my head. This book was also told strictly in the male POV as well and I feel it was just a tad too ‘soft’ for my liking as well. Once everything was found out, it spiraled out of control rather quickly for Justice and he had to disappear.
Every kiss is a goodbye. Especially the ones that kill you.
I was really confused at the ending….or miffed. Either will work. Justice left, because once he was ‘found out’, he disappeared. His publicist couldn’t find him and she had been looking for him for weeks. Yet, out of the blue, Ally showed up and knew exactly where he was. Cute ending? Sure….it could be looked at as that, and I could fall into that “awwww” mentality, but it made absolutely no sense to me and I didn’t like it at all. This ending threw the rest of the book out for me. It always makes me sad when the ending is a letdown…..so I am sad, because I really wanted to love this book. There were some laughable moments….good comedic moments, and there were some swoon-worthy moments as well. Justice really was a softy overall, no matter how mean his exterior was.
“I want to consume you, Ally. I want to devour every bit of you until there’s no you and there’s no me. Until we’re nothing but sensation and exhaustion. Until you see music and hear colors.”
I strive to have honest reviews…..reviews are, to me, what make me respect peoples’ opinions on whether or not to take their recommendations on books. These are also only opinions, and while I may not have connected with or enjoyed this particular book as much as I wanted to, you may absolutely LOVE it. Please take this for what it is. An opinion.
3 even stars…..I didn’t love it, but I didn’t hate it.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Most known for her starring role in a popular sitcom as a child, S.L. Jennings went on to earn her law degree from Harvard at the young age of 16. While studying for the bar exam and recording her debut hit album, she also won the Nobel Prize for her groundbreaking invention of calorie-free wine. When she isn’t conquering the seas in her yacht or flying her Gulfstream, she likes to spin elaborate webs of lies and has even documented a few of these said falsehoods.
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